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| Cell Phones Kill Gorillas |
| 04.30.04 (7:59 am) [edit] |
Congratulations!
Every time you buy a cell phone, make a call from a cell phone, or even look at your cell phone, you indirectly kill a lowland gorilla.
Did you know that in the Congo, the spread of small-scale mining for gold, precious stones and columbine
tantalite, a mineral used to make cell phones and other high-tech gadgets, is wiping away the home of the lowland gorilla? Well, now you do.
70% of the lowland gorilla population in the Congo has been wiped off of this Earth in the past 10 years.
Just thought you'd like to know...
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
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| UFO Sightings in Iran |
| 04.30.04 (7:41 am) [edit] |
Oh yeah, more UFO sightings have come about lately.
Only this time it isn't drunk, mullet-haired hicks from Kansas who have spotted them. Now it's religious, bearded dessert hicks from Iran who are spotting them.
"More colorful Unidentified Flying Objects have been spotted beaming out green, red, blue and purple rays over the northern cities of Tabriz and Ardebil and in the Caspian Sea province of Golestan, the official IRNA news agency reported.
Newspapers and agencies reported people rushing out into the streets in eight towns Tuesday night to watch a bright extraterrestrial light dipping in and out of the clouds." - from [b][url=http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD...]CNN.com[/url] [/b]
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
Scientists believe that the colors and lights are actually from the planet Venus and the colors are due to refracted light when passing through our atmosphere.
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| Noah's Ark? Noah Way! |
| 04.28.04 (7:02 am) [edit] |
"An expedition is being planned for this summer to the upper reaches of Turkey's Mount Ararat where organizers hope to prove an object nestled amid the snow and ice is Noah's Ark.
The goal: to enter what they believe to be a mammoth structure some 45 feet high, 75 feet wide and up to 450 feet long that was exposed in part by last summer's heat wave in Europe.
The biblical account in the Book of Genesis says that after the great deluge, the ark came to rest on the mountain with Noah's family and a cargo of male and female pairs of every kind of animal.
Geologists say even though there is evidence of a flood in Mesopotamia in Sumerian times, it is not possible for a ship to make landfall at an altitude as high as Mount Ararat."
- taken from [b][url=http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/...]CNN.com[/url] [/b]
Wow! A big boat holding every single species of animals...
Now, does that include whales? Because if so, a pair of blue or humpback whales alone would make that boat (no matter how big it was) an uncomfortable ride for the rest of the species....
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| Afghanistan Video of Bombings |
| 04.27.04 (12:17 pm) [edit] |
This is amazing, shocking, and scary all at once...it's video of one our military cargo planes that blows up vehicles, buildings, and people on a mission.
The AC-130 Spectre gunship which the Americans are using for special operations in southern Afghanistan was designed for close support of ground forces. It is a development of the C-130 Hercules transport aircraft and as such is slow, flying at less than 300mph, but has a range of at least 1,500 miles without needing to refuel and can loiter over a combat area for some time.
They have several big guns projecting from the left side of the fuselage: either two 40mm cannons or a 25mm Gatling gun that can fire up to 1,800 rounds per minute, depending on the version, and 40mm and 105mm cannons.
It uses television, infra-red and radar sensors to locate ground targets, even at night. Uniquely, in the latest type, the targeting computers can follow two separate targets with two different sensors and fire two different guns.
http://litterbox.zawodny.com/...~jzawodn/tmp/AC130_Gunshi pMed.wmv
when you watch the video...keep the volume on.
Voice traffic from the 105 mm gunner, the tower, and a nearby spotter.
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| Spy Video Catches Couple Doing The Nasty |
| 04.27.04 (12:13 pm) [edit] |
A Helicopter's routine spy video catches some couple doin' it in the back of a convertible...the tape goes on for a while and there is some hilarious commentary coming from the guys doing the spying.
It's worth checking out if your perverse or just like to watch couples have sex.
[url=http://www.fuckallyall.com/ar...]Click here to view the video.[/url]
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| Jon Bon Jovi |
| 04.22.04 (7:00 am) [edit] |
Jon can still move a crowd...
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
...of old folks! booyah...
There has to be a point in one's life where they realize they are no longer wanted. Old people know it when they get sent to the "home", Screech knew it when he started teaching at Saved By the Bell and then was demoted to the janitor, and Jesus knew it when the Romans threw him up on that cross.
Jon Bon Jovi rockin' out at an old folk's home is more sad than the infamous scene in Bambi when I was 4.
Please, Jon - give it up. Please.
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| Worst Link Ever |
| 04.22.04 (6:55 am) [edit] |
Well, I've been gone for almost a week and none of you care...I hate you all.
Tired of having damaged fruit? It always sucks when you put a banana in your bag only to find when you get to work that it has exploded in your bag for no apparent reason. Well, now you should fear no more!
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
[url=http://www.bananaguard.com/#]BananaGuard[/url] has scientifically designed a case to keep your banana bruise-free....
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| Supervolcanoes |
| 04.14.04 (1:33 pm) [edit] |
Hi, I'm a Supervolcano.
I spew lava at an enormous rate for hundreds of miles and hurl pieces of Earth that weigh several tons. Unlike normal volcanoes that form when a column of magma, originating from the core of the Earth, gradually pushes up to the surface, I'm formed when a huge reservoir of magma builds up under the Earth's surface... I build up enormous pressure over several thousand years until I explode.
The last of my kind to erupt was 74,000 years ago in Sumatra - 10 thousand times stronger than Mt. Saint Helens....
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
I'm located under Yellowstone National Park. The last time I erupted was 640,000 years ago, but I tend to erupt every 600,000 years. So I'm due anytime now.
I'm about 53 miles by 28 miles wide...not too shabby, eh?
My eruption would have catastrophic effects on the world...in fact, the last eruption in Sumatra nearly wiped out the humans, decreasing the population to around 1,000...that's why your human genetic makeup is so similar - you all basically came from that small group of people who survived the event.
So I look forward to seeing you all soon. Sleep tight.
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
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| Seinfeld - Superman |
| 04.14.04 (1:09 pm) [edit] |
Jerry Seinfeld and Superman...together at last!
Go to [url=http://www.jerry.digisle.tv/r...][b]AmericanExpress.com[/b] [/url] and watch the new 5-minute video of Jerry hanging out with the legendary Superman...what's hilarious about this? Well first off, it's Jerry Seinfeld, so that automatically makes it funny.
Next, Superman is his friend, giving the superhero a personal, realistic feel (even though he's a cartoon).
Also, Superman is kind of dumb - like Putty, Elaine's boyfriend from "Seinfeld".
So waste 5 minutes of your "precious" time and watch the video...it'll brighten your day.
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| Jesus the Zombie |
| 04.13.04 (12:59 pm) [edit] |
I saw [b]Dawn of the Dead[/b] this weekend and ended up having a conversation on the definition of a zombie. We came up with this:
[b]Zombie[/b]
[i]A life form, usually that of a humanoid, who was previously dead but under unknown circumstances has risen from the dead to walk amongst the living again.[/i]
With this definition in mind, we can plainly see that Jesus Christ in fact was a zombie. He was dead for three days before rising up from the dead to walk amongst the living.
What's the point of this blog? Basically, I'm just trying to piss off a couple of the religious freaks who read this...
that's it.
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
[i]My team of artists and scientists have formulated this picture to show what Jesus Christ actually looked like when he rose from the dead.[/i]
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| Ugliest Cat Ever |
| 04.08.04 (11:14 am) [edit] |
To go along with my earlier blog of the ugliest dog ever, I thought I'd post the ugliest cat ever.
Enjoy.
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
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| Kill Bill Vol.2 |
| 04.08.04 (6:38 am) [edit] |
Yes, the legends are true...Kill Bill Vol.2 has finally arrived in theatres...well, technically not until April 16.
The conclusion of The Bride's voyage to revenge, with the ultimate goal of killing Bill, has finally arrived.
The father of her child and the one who put a bullet in her brain - that's Bill. Somehow she survived...
Check out the new trailer on [url=http://www.kill-bill.com/][b]Kill Bill's web site[/b][/url] .
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
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| Ugliest Dog Ever |
| 04.07.04 (1:22 pm) [edit] |
Well, this dog looks like Keith Richards...
We'll call him "Leash Richards" just to piss everyone off.
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
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| The Simpsons' Extras |
| 04.07.04 (12:35 pm) [edit] |
Frank Grimes, aka "Grimey", one of the few Simpsons characters to actually die, was a classic personality.
Working with Homer at the Nuclear Power Plant, Grimey couldn't fathom how someone so stupid, fat, naive, lazy, and ignorant could be so successful. Grimey grew up abondoned by his family at age 4 and had to work hard to get anywhere in life.
He looks at Homer who hasn't done a goddamned thing past what's expected, and is living the American dream: nice house, beautiful wife, 3 great kids, safety inspector of the whole town's nuclear power...he's been to space, hung out with ex-presidents, formulated the equation that proves God doesn't exist, and even won a Grammy.
This boggled the fragile mind of Grimey who went crazy and ended up dying in a horrible accident when he was inside a silo and it blew up.
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
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| Sock Puppet |
| 04.07.04 (6:50 am) [edit] |
In my own opinion, I really don't like sock puppets.
Button eyes? Those are more scary than cool...
and of course you're not going to use a nice sock - because socks wear down so quickly you need to enjoy their softness before they become crusty pellets of cotton. So you end up using a smelly gray sock...or one of your dad's...which is probably more gross.
Sure, when you're a kid with a creative little imagination, you can stick a sock on your hand and pretend he's your friend.
Or you could try hanging out with actual people and enjoy your experiences in "reality".
Either or. I'm just saying...
In case you were wondering how to create such a complex and highly intelligent friend, without the government watching your back like they do with all of this cloning business, follow these easy instructions:
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
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| Vampire Bats |
| 04.07.04 (6:41 am) [edit] |
Are these things still around?
Survey says....YES!
And they just killed 13 people in Brazil in the small town of Para, located on the Amazon. Since March, these rabies-induced flying rats have attacked more than 300 people.
Scientists believe the recent increase in attacks is due to deforestation. Personally, I think it has to do with something much more scary. I think this is just a hint of the bloody rampage these creatures are going to create... and epidemic throughout the world of crazy vampire bat attacks.
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/... whoops! wrong stock image...
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/... the common vampire bat.
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| Time Capsule Ideas |
| 04.05.04 (9:24 am) [edit] |
I was thinking of creating an Online Time Capsule...
i figure if i can create a few photos and ideas about the time/space of the "now", i can help preserve our history for future life forms that visit us after the nuclear fallout.
Then I got to thinking about messing with this evolved life form and having some fun with the whole thing...Here's a few examples of what I mean:
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/... ![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/... ![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
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| Happiest Cat On Earth |
| 04.05.04 (8:40 am) [edit] |
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
Congratulations to Mr. Kittykins, this year's winner of the Annual Happiest Cat On Earth award. This photo truly truly captures the level of happiness that Mr. Kittykins is experiencing.
Tradgically, Mr. Kittykins will be getting neutered this coming Tuesday, and the cat world believes that he will not be back to compete in next your's competition.
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| Execution Methods |
| 04.02.04 (2:10 pm) [edit] |
Well, the crucifixion is probably the most horrible way one can die...UNTIL NOW!
Thanks to my buddy Bojax who did some research for me, we found a more horrible death. However, it's very interesting and actually an amusing topic of conversation.
The Ancient Romans had many styles of putting a criminal to death depending on the crime itself. "Death was often cruel and included crucifixion, drowning at sea, burial alive, beating to death, and impalement (often used by Nero). The Romans had a curious punishment for parricides (murder of a parent): the condemned was submersed in water in a sack, which also contained a dog, a rooster, a viper and an ape."
Yep...I kid you not...I don't know about you but the last place I'd ever want to be is floating out to sea stuffed in a sack with a dog, viper, rooster, and an ape. We've been trying to figure out what type of ape the Romans could get their hands on since most primates live in either Africa or Western Asia...but when I imagine the incident taking place, I like to use a gorilla.
[b][url=http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages...]Here's the link[/url] .[/b] from PBS.org, so you know this is legit!
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
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| Best-selling T-shirt |
| 04.02.04 (12:47 pm) [edit] |
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
I don't think I have anything to actually comment on about this...the shirt speaks for itself.
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| Star Wars Kid |
| 04.02.04 (12:37 pm) [edit] |
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
If you don't know about this yet, you've missing been out on so much! Here's the scoop:
Some teen in Quebec videotaped himself doing some embarassing "star wars" -esque moves with a lighsaber. Somehow 4 kids from his school found the tape and posted it on the web...and it has just spiraled from there!
Now there's over 50 movies of the "Star Wars Kid" video mixed in with real movies and what-not...they are friggin' hilarious! I advise you check them out as soon as humanly possible.
By the way, the Star Wars Kid is suing the 4 boys who posted his tape on the web...
[b][url=http://www.starwarskid.com/st...]Click Here[/url] [/b] to check out the original tape as well as all of the spoof movies.
[b]Doctor Thalamo's Star Wars Kid Best Of:[/b]
1. Original video
2. Undercover
3. A New Hope
4. Star Wars
5. Terminator
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| Exorcisms Make Fun Family Activity |
| 04.02.04 (12:10 pm) [edit] |
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
Expelling demons from one's soul is a great way for you to spend time with your family and come closer together.
Now, I highly doubt that the level of demonitis in you is at a critical dangerous point, but nobody's perfect. We've all done crazy, bad things before and could use a good "spring cleaning"....
Hell, I killed 4 hamsters yesterday just for kicks...so tonight - instead of getting drunk with my friends - I'm going to try and expel some of my demons. It's worth a shot guys...seriously.
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| Werewolves Exist |
| 04.02.04 (12:04 pm) [edit] |
It's true. and I have the proof...just angle your eyes downward just a bit to view the photo below...
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
People of Earth,
Please refrain from taking your shirt off if this is what you look like. Hair is NOT cool. Yeah, he's bald and probably thinks that his back hair makes up for it, but for the love of god....
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| Cats |
| 04.02.04 (11:02 am) [edit] |
I definitely don't hate cats...but I sure as hell don't love 'em either
...they just don't respect humans as a pet should.
and the paradox being - that's why I respect them!
Weird....
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
This is the cat at my parent's house...he's cool.
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| Funcopter |
| 04.02.04 (10:09 am) [edit] |
Just a quick message about the best online game ever created....
It's perfect for work environments and competing against your co-workers for the top score.
Just click the link to the left
(or if you're that lazy, just [b][url=http://www.hurtwood.demon.co....]click here[/url] [/b]...)
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| The Simpsons |
| 04.02.04 (9:56 am) [edit] |
I tried several months ago to compile a listing of the top Simpsons episodes ever. I started with 50 episodes, thinking that it would be very easy to narrow down. But slowly that list grew to about 150 episodes...
I would add shows because of one classic line or funny moment, and not basing it on the entire show. This project of mine became a huge pain and I realized that with only a little more than 300 episodes ever made, I was compiling a list with more than half of those shows! That's a crazy thing to do...
This led me to conclude several things:
1. The Simpsons are so good that a listing of the top episodes ever had to be over 150 episodes long.
2. The Simpsons are full of classic moments and one-liners that are dispersed throughout the shows, but doesn't necessarily make the whole episode "classic".
3. A "Classic Moments and One-Liners" listing would be a better, more comprehensive listing.
4. A "Best Episode" listing is impossible b/c each episode has it's strong points and weak points. Judging what is worthy of a great episode compared to just a great "moment" is too subjective.
With that said, and my many hours of research and wasted time listing the best shows that I now realize is impossible to complete, I have my number ones for the 2 listings... but anything more would be unfathomable:
[u][b]Best Episode Ever[/b][/u]
[url=http://globex.frinky.com/]Hank Scorpio[/url]
[u][b]Best Moment Ever[/b][/u]
[url=http://theforbidden-zone .com/...]Planet of the Apes musical[/url]
You can click on the episode's link to read more on each episode. Also, check out [b][url=http://www.snpp.com/]The Simpsons Archive [/url] [/b]for a complete listing of episodes and so much more.
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| Breakfast Fight Club |
| 04.02.04 (9:37 am) [edit] |
From the Fake Movie Vault comes the year's most
unpopular film! Never before-seen footage of Judd Nelson beating up Molly Ringwald who ends up realizing that they're the same person! Unbelievably bad!
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
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| New Movie In Bad Taste |
| 04.01.04 (11:55 am) [edit] |
This one is just gonna plain, ol' suck.
Worst movie ever.
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
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| Finding Flubber |
| 04.01.04 (8:40 am) [edit] |
Now here's a movie you probably have never heard of.
And for good reason...
Man, Sean Connery and Robin Williams seem a little desperate for movie roles these days, eh?
Yikes.
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
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| Google vs. Yahoo! |
| 04.01.04 (7:25 am) [edit] |
Another reason to love Google...
They're now offering free email with -get this- 1GB of storage...that's 500 times the amount offered by Yahoo! and the likes.
[b]Gmail [/b]will also offer a built-in search function and you'll be able to attach files that are up to 10MB...that's very impressive.
Check it out at [url=www.gmail.com]Gmail.com[/url] .
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| Teen Wolf Tribute |
| 04.01.04 (6:46 am) [edit] |
![]() =http://img44.photobucket.com/... Good morning.
I thought I would start the day off by giving a tribute to a classic 80s film we all know and love - [b][i]Teen Wolf[/i][/b].
What this movie lacks in post-production, editing, and the overall realm of reality, it makes up in one of the best care-free films of all time.
I grew up watching this movie and basing my entire high school lifestyle off of this film. Needless to say my idea of high school was grossly wrong. However, the Wolf, Boof, Styles, and Chubby all in their own crazy way represent your typical teenage angst. Popularity, sex, sports, partying, responsibility....all these topics are covered, and done so in a fun and enthusiastic manner.
And lets not forget about the classic basketball scene where Scott (Michael J. Fox) turns into the wolf publicly for the first time...this scene is so poorly done that every time I watch it, I'm laughing so hard I can barely get out the phrase, "Are you kidding me?"
Let's review:
- everyone jumps on top of the ball but no whistle is blown for a "jump ball"
- once Scott turns into the "wolf" the crowd gets quiet but no one seems [i]that [/i]phased by the whole ordeal...hello people! There's a friggin' wolf-man in the gym! Run for your lives!
- Scott magically has some serious b-ball skills
(however, he [i]double-dribbles [/i]and [i]travels [/i]like crazy)
- And the best part: every dunk sequence, Scott goes up with the ball on one side of the basket, cuts to a completely different scene of him dunking the ball from a completely different angle. Plus, they use the same dunk sequence a couple of times as well!
Classic.
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