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A Reason To Watch Gigli
05.28.04 (10:28 am)   [edit]
The Starz Encore network is marketing "Gigli," a box office flop starring former lovers Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, as a film that has been so maligned by critics and moviegoers that "you know you want to see it."

Trying to get laughs from this film is definitely a good marketing route to take...I'm actually interested in finding out how successful that is.

But I realize that after this long weekend, I won't give a damn anymore and never here about it again....
 
The Ironing Robot
05.28.04 (9:49 am)   [edit]
It only irons dress shirts, but then again, who other than a guy would buy one of these things? And we all know guys only iron dress shirts, so I guess it's not that bad of an idea after all...

Basicall you put a damp shirt on the "robot" and then it inflates to press the shirt flat. Warm air then dries the shirt. Pretty neat.

=http://img44.photobucket.com/...
 
Harry and the Hendersons
05.28.04 (9:29 am)   [edit]
My roommate from college, his sister dated the dude who was inside the costume of Harry in Harry and Hendersons...true story.

=http://img44.photobucket.com/...
 
Scarier Than Jaws?
05.28.04 (7:57 am)   [edit]
=http://img44.photobucket.com/...

The new movie, [url=http://www.apple.com/trailers...][b]Open Water[/b][/url] , deals with a married couple gone scuba diving - their boat leaves without them in shark-infested waters.

Sundance liked this movie and it appears to be getting some good reviews (on the subject of scariness).

Supposedly it's based on true events...[url=http://www.apple.com/trailers...]Check out the trailer here.[/url]
 
Extreme Dodgeball
05.28.04 (6:53 am)   [edit]
I know this isn't as cool as [b][url=www.extremeironing.com/]Extreme Ironing[/url] [/b], but hey - it's still pretty cool. GSN, the network for games, is ready to showcase the fun of dodgeball with the premiere of its EXTREME DODGEBALL series Tuesday, June 15.

Comedian Bil Dwyer ("Battlebots") calls the action as play-by-play announcer, Zach Selwyn (ESPN's "Dream Job") serves as color commentator and Jerri Manthey ("Survivor") contributes reports from the sidelines.

The series adds its own unique twists on the playground rules including the Coca-Cola© Regeneration Target, by which a player can bring back eliminated teammates by hitting a red and white target on the wall; matches are best out of three games with the second game integrating two standard size balls and one giant ball; and the "Dead Man Walking" rule whereby each team names a 'Dead Man' to wear an orange headband, who if gets hit, the entire game and match is lost.

And if you haven't seen trailers yet for [b][url=http://www.dodgeballmovie.com...]Dodgeball[/url] [/b], the new comedy movie starring Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn, see it here.
 
Thai TV Ad
05.28.04 (6:41 am)   [edit]
Here is a TV[url=http://jaja.kn.vutbr.cz/~weidinger/killbill.swf] TV commercial [/url] that's quick and able to be watched at work...very low quality but the joke is worth it...

(i won't give anything away, but it does discuss Kill Bill)

Enjoy.
 
iPod Killer
05.28.04 (6:36 am)   [edit]
Microsoft says to start selling portable music players for about 80% less than Apple's iPod. The Microsoft-branded devices will "look and feel" as good as the iPod for as little as $50. They should be out later this year.

=http://img44.photobucket.com/...

So Micrsoft's two major new targets are Apple in the music download business and Google in the Search Engine arena.
 
Chris Rock Quote
05.27.04 (1:00 pm)   [edit]
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'. Need I say more?""


Good stuff.
 
Movie Madness
05.27.04 (10:12 am)   [edit]
Okay, it's gettin' hot outside so let's go over this summer's biggest blockbusters. What's hot, what's not - and other fun catchy titles we can use to make you read this whole thing.

I will be forecasting my views on these movies on several factors to determine if they will be blockbuster hits or blockbuster bombs. Now, because these are summer blockbusters, I'm not judging them on the same principles as I would during the Cannes Film Festival - you have to judge them within their own, special category. Just like you do with horror movies...you can only base those on the sub-genre of horror movies, not something stupid like foreign films.


[b]The Day After Tomorrow[/b]
Every summer there's at least one film that raises the bar of special effects while blowing up New York City or even the Earth. Independence Day, Armaggedon, Core, etc... this year the world goes through an Ice Age (the plot takes place mostly in NYC) and chaos ensues.

[b]Pros:[/b] Awesome special effects, Jake Gyllenhal is cool, the Ice Age seems to be a cool topic, and it also will bring awareness to Global Warming and how we're slowly destroying our own world.

[b]Cons:[/b] Typical plot and dialogue from Hollywood - separated family members don't reconcile, global incident occurs, and the movie follows them along until they can meet up during all the chaos and realize their squabble means nothing compared to the crisis at hand and then they make up.

3.5 Stars



[b]Shrek 2[/b]
Another fun adventure following the green ogre and his little crew around in this animated film.

[b]Pros:[/b] good plot and dialogue, along with amazing animation and effects, plus you get the same cast back from the last movie. Intelligent humor and fun all-around romp.

[b]Cons:[/b] None really I can see except that I might be comparing it to Finding Nemo and Monsters, Inc. which is hard to live up to.

4.5 Stars



[b]The Bourne Supremacy[/b]
Jason Bourne is back in this summer sequel to kick more ass than ever before.

[b]Pros:[/b] If the plot can keep me interested, there's another amazing car chase scene then I'm totally there.
To me Bourne is the ultimate badass movie character of all time - even badder than Dirty Harry or James Bond.

[b]Cons:[/b] It's hard to get a sequel to match the original...and now that Bourne knows who he is, the whole plot of the last movie was to find out. I hope this plot doesn't turn out to be a MI:2 sequal directed by John Woo...that would suck big time.

4.5 Stars



[b]Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban[/b]
Harry Potter and company battle more foes and use more magic....blah, blah, blah....

[b]Pros:[/b] New director who knows what he's doing, better special effects, darker more adult plot, and introducing some newer characters. Should be much better than the previous 2 and be an all-around good time.

[b]Cons:[/b] If you haven't seen or read anything about Harry Potter you have no reason to see this and would probably hate it anyway. Plus, the guy who played Dumbledore died, so that'll take away from the story a bit.

4 Stars



okay, i'm bored now...i'll finish this up later with Spider Man2, I, Robot, and others...
 
Bangla-Dead-Ex
05.27.04 (9:36 am)   [edit]
Red-faced postal officials in Bangladesh are investigating why it took almost three years to deliver a letter just 50 km (30 miles) to a mill worker who had died in the meantime.

Now c'mon, that's just plain, old bad service...
[b][url=http://story.news.yahoo.com/n...]Click Here[/url] [/b] for the complete story on Yahoo News.

Do you like my play on words in the subject line?
Bangladesh. Dead. Fed-Ex.
Classic.
 
Cars Equal Sex...Sometimes
05.26.04 (10:25 am)   [edit]
I guess my Grandma's Pontiac Sunfire that I drive around didn't make this year's list...hmmm..I feel that this test was rigged!

German magazine "[i]Men's Car[/i]" has revealed the following
connection between sex and cars:

1. Porsche drivers are less faithful than any other group of car owners, with almost 50 percent of them cheating on their partners.

2. Among women, Audi drivers were the least reliable, 41 percent admitting to affairs.

3. Male BMW drivers have the most sex.

4. Guys who drive their grandma's '97 white Pontiac Sunfire will die lonely and miserable.


[i]The survey was carried out by Hamburg-based opinion poll institute Gewis, which questioned 2,253 male and female drivers aged 20 to 50. [/i]
 
Super Happy Fun Slide
05.26.04 (9:48 am)   [edit]
If I had this in my house, I would have no reason to beat my wife!

=http://img44.photobucket.com/...
 
Inter-Species Sex
05.26.04 (6:03 am)   [edit]
=http://img44.photobucket.com/...

You know what I said the first time I saw this?

"I would never let a racoon hump me during the day...why? Because if it's daylight, chances are this guy has got a serious case of rabies. What if he gets freaky and tries to bite me? No dice."

The world is a crazy place, man...
 
Best Palindrome Ever
05.26.04 (5:46 am)   [edit]
[b]Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog.[/b]



[b]Palindrome:[/b]
[i]A word, phrase, verse, or sentence that reads the same backward or forward[/i][LINE]
 
Hail to the Chimp!
05.25.04 (12:32 pm)   [edit]
Israeli zookeepers suspected some monkey business only after Maya, a 24-year-old chimpanzee, suddenly gave birth to twins despite an apparent lack of virile mates. The happy event at Jerusalem's Biblical Zoo caught everyone by surprise: nobody had noticed Maya was pregnant and Og and Gremlin, the only adult males among 11 chimps at the facility, were sterilized years ago, a zoo official said Tuesday.

This would lead me to run some DNA tests on those crazy zookeepers, but hey- that's just me.

=http://img44.photobucket.com/...
 
New Swiss Army Gadget
05.25.04 (12:19 pm)   [edit]
=http://img44.photobucket.com/...

This is the ultimate gadget to have....well, maybe not but it's definitely close.
4 essential tools put into the all-too-famous Swiss Army Knife design:

1. USB Flash Drive (64MB)
2. Knife
3. LED light
4. Ballpoint Pen

it runs for about $65 smackaroos.
 
Best Game Ever
05.21.04 (7:52 am)   [edit]
You thought Funcopter was cool and addictive?
(See my links to the left)

Well, here's the newest game craze to rock the internet. [b][url=http://www.milkandcookies.com...]BowMan[/url] [/b] is very simple, yet effective...like all classics.

You pull back your bow and arrow and using angles and tragectories, you try to hit your opponent. You go shot for shot until someone gets hit twice above the belt. The distances change every game, so you can work on long distance archery or just a quick game of "up close and personal." Have fun...i did.

=http://img44.photobucket.com/...
 
Have You Heard This?
05.21.04 (7:17 am)   [edit]
Wow...click on the photo to witness a new low in home video editing, bad music, and euro-trash.

However, the song stays in your head like a brain tumor you can't get rid of, no matter how much kemo you go through! This is really worth checking out.

Supposedly the song is popular in Europe, but who knows if it's "Justin Timberlake" popular or "William Hung" popular....with Europe, you never can tell.

[url=http://www.ameryonline.com/ai...]=http://img44.photobucket.com/...[/url]

Enjoy.
 
Odor Alarm Clocks
05.21.04 (6:28 am)   [edit]
Stunning news reaches us today regarding a new Brown University study (Minimal Olfactory Perception During Sleep: Why Odor Alarms Will Not Work for Humans) concluding that scents will not rouse us from sleep.

So with that in mind, I introduce to you, the worthless
[b]Hakugen Odor Alarm Clock[/b]!

=http://img44.photobucket.com/...

I still think it's a pretty cool innovation...I think the tests done were only with one nice smell and one bad smell...I want more tests done, people! This has to work!
 
Talking Toilets
05.20.04 (9:40 am)   [edit]
A German inventor who developed a gadget that berates men if they try to use the toilet standing up has sold more than 1.6 million devices, his business manager says.

German women fed up with a man with a poor aim can turn to the ghost-shaped gadget, which lurks under the toilet rim and, if the seat is lifted, declares in a stern female tone:

"Hello, what are you up to then? Put the seat back down right away, you are definitely not to pee standing up ... you will make a right mess..."

[url=http://www.reuters.co.uk/news...]- from Rueters UK[/url]
 
Squirrel You, Man!
05.18.04 (1:15 pm)   [edit]
Why did the squirrel go to the bar?

For the free nuts of course!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Another tradgic example when humans negatively effect Earth...

=http://img44.photobucket.com/...

 
Rubik's Cube Robotic Solver
05.18.04 (1:12 pm)   [edit]
Ah, yes...the infamous Rubik's Cube...a toy we all had
(at some point in our lives) and one that few have ever solved. Why did no one ever solve this little brain-teaser? Was the puzzle just too hard to understand? Was is too boring to pursue after a short amount of time?

No one knows for sure. And of course, no one will ever admit to raising the white flag to the uncomprehendable brain buster.

But now we have developed a robot that will do it for us.
The [b]CubicSolver[/b] is a Lego Mindstorms robot that solves the Rubik’s Cube puzzle. What's the one thing more boring than playing with a Rubik's Cube? Yes, watching your friend play with it...because it makes you want to get in on the action - and then when you do, you realize how much you hate it. But even worse, is waiting for a robot to solve the puzzle...especially a robot that looks like this:

=http://img44.photobucket.com/...

We haven't cured cancer yet, but at least we have that damn Rubik's Cube outta the way!
 
Curiosity Killed the Kitten
05.14.04 (11:24 am)   [edit]
Thalamo: "What are you doing near the window, Snuffles?"

Snuffles: "Meow."

Thalamo: "You know I told you to stop snoopin' around my window sills!"

Snuffles: "Meow."

Thalamo: "You know what I do to curious kittens?"
=http://img44.photobucket.com/...

Snuffles: "Meow."

[b]BANG![/b]

=http://img44.photobucket.com/...
 
Evolution Vs. Creationism
05.14.04 (11:14 am)   [edit]
[b]Teaching Evolution/Creationism In Public Schools [/b]

Main Finding: The overwhelming majority of Americans (83%) want Evolution taught in public schools. While many also support the in-school discussion of religious explanations of human origins, they do not want these religious explanations presented as “science”. They would like Creationist ideas to be taught about in classes other than science (such as Philosophy) or discussed as a “belief”. Only a minority (fewer than 3 in 10) want Creationism taught as science in public schools.


Do you know what's scary about this?
That 17% of people don't want evolution taught in school!

Yep. This means that people have only been around for about a 1000 years. Dinosaurs never actually existed, that their just some elaborate hoax. Every man that lived before Jesus was even born cannot go to Heaven because they never accepted him into their hearts...that's a rip-off! And of course, the fact that Jesus the Zombie, rose from the dead 3 days after being killed...too bad he didn't eat anyone's brains.

Here's my photo that proves people evolved from other primates:
=http://img44.photobucket.com/...

1. Monkeys and Apes love bananas
2. The most popular fruit in the world is the banana
[i]
[b]Case closed. [/b][/i]
 
Lamborghini and Sauce
05.14.04 (10:40 am)   [edit]
Italian police took possession Friday of a sleek, 500 horsepower, two-seater Lamborghini Gallardo, which can hit a top speed of 185 miles per hour.

=http://img44.photobucket.com/...

The "pigs" painted it in the traditional blue and white colors that also comes with the flashing blue light attached to the top.

The car will also be used to transport organs for emergency operations.
 
The Day After Tomorrow
05.12.04 (7:09 am)   [edit]
This summer blockbuster has been getting a lot of flack from all sides. It's a tale of how global warming caused by man's insatiable desire to burn oil, gas and coal, melts the polar ice caps and neutralizes warm ocean currents to trigger an instant Ice Age.

The key word here being [i]instant[/i].

Yes, it's true that the odds of an instant Ice Age are very unlikely, but still - there are theories and some evidence to back up the ideas that this could, possibly happen.

Scientists are using this movie to try and take down the Bush Administration (who, by the way, have thrown out about 30 environmental laws behind our backs).

And crazy people, who still believe that global warming isn't real (who, by the way, are the same people that thought Passion of the Christ was respectable, great movie) are attacking this movie's "outrageous" claims.

But here's the simple answer to all of our problems. [b]This is a fictional movie. [/b] A blockbuster film that, like Independence Day (no one had problems with aliens attacking Earth even though we don't have any conclusive evidence of this) and Jurassic Park (even though we know we cannot at this time bring dinosaurs back to life), that shows the human resiliance that can be seen during a crisis.

Who wants to see a movie about Timmy the Iceberg that slowly melts over a 65 year period of time?
 
Boomerang, Sir?
05.12.04 (6:53 am)   [edit]
...that's what a British Butler would've said back in 3000 B.C. (if they had butlers back then...and the cool accents)...(it's a play on words, idiot - "you rang, sir?")


The boomerang, that iconic symbol of Australian heritage, was in fact invented in Britain, and not Down Under -- or so a British children's author is claiming.
Both British historians and drunken Aussies are stark-raving mad over the author's bizarre claim.

Yes, this is the most controversial news story since I learned that Dr. Pepper doesn't just taste pepper, but is actually made from pepper! (I just made that up).
 
Extreme Ironing
05.11.04 (12:47 pm)   [edit]
Ladies, I know this sounds interesting, dealing with ironing and all, but leave this to the men! [b][i]Extreme Ironing![/i][/b]

I shit you not, this is for real. The latest danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well pressed shirt.


=http://img44.photobucket.com/...

Check out [b][url=http://www.extremeironing.com...]ExtremeIroning [/url] [/b]web site for more crazy pics!

=http://img44.photobucket.com/... =http://img44.photobucket.com/...
 
The New Space Race
05.11.04 (12:31 pm)   [edit]
New Mexico has been selected to host a competition to achieve the first privately funded manned spaceflight. The contest calls for launching a manned craft to 62.5 miles above the Earth, which is generally considered the edge of space, twice within two weeks. The craft must be able to carry three people.

[b]The X Prize competition[/b] will give $10 million to the first company or person to successfully launch the craft.
- complete article at [b][url=http://homedelivery.nytimes.c...]NYTimes.com[/url] [/b]


That's all we need isn't it? A race to see who can toss 3 humans up into space? Quickly now, as fast as you can do it!

I mean, the Challenger, with a basically limitless budget and the top space engineers in the country had no problems with their extended plan of space travel so I'm sure making a race for a bunch of science geeks, who want to be famous, to produce a space shuttle shouldn't go off with too many quirks....good luck.

 
Piss-ident Bush
05.10.04 (1:21 pm)   [edit]
God, I wish I could urinate all over this guy....
he really does deserve it.

=http://img44.photobucket.com/...
 
Good News America!
05.10.04 (1:19 pm)   [edit]
The bad news is you're not the best-looking person in the world. How do I know? Because anyone with the spare time to check out my web blog has to be low on the sexual food chain....

The good news is you're not the most desperate person in the world either...

=http://img44.photobucket.com/...

...he is.
 
30 Second Cup O Coffee
05.10.04 (11:38 am)   [edit]
=http://img44.photobucket.com/...

Quick! I need coffee now! No time to waste, chop chop!

If you live in America, then you have no time to spare. And even if you do have time to spare, you have the right to demand what you want as fast as you can get it.

Introducing the [b][url=http://www.amazon.com/exec/ob...]Senseo Single Serve Coffee Machine[/url] [/b], that brews you one cup of coffee in 30 seconds.

Is that quick enough for ya, you bastard?
 
Don't Push My Buttons
05.07.04 (1:06 pm)   [edit]
No, seriously, don't. It's considered sexual harassment.

=http://img44.photobucket.com/...

Ah, fashion!

You know what's cooler than wearing a Nintendo controller on your belt? Basically anything that doesn't involve our President.

My new fashion gimmick is to wear my underwear on the [i]outside [/i]of my pants...yeah, I said it! Booyah.
 
Designing Our Death
05.07.04 (12:52 pm)   [edit]
[b][url=http://www.sony.net/SonyInfo/...]Sony's Qrio[/url] [/b] is the next big step in man building his own death machine...

Yes, we have here a walking robot, that has feelings, and helps around the house. He understands your voice and can react to many different situations. Plus, if he falls down, he'll protect himself during impact and knows how to get back up! Simply amazing...

But the most incredible (and probably unknown factoid) in robotics is the fact that Qrio can walk up and down stairs. This is one of the greatest technological advancements since flight. The motion, balance, and movement that it takes for us humanoids to walk up and down stairs goes pretty much under the radar of amazing feats...but it actually is!

I'm not sure how much this sucker will cost, but if the robotic dog is priced at $2000, you can bet that this guy is a bit more.

It's only a matter of time before these A.I. psychos learn that with their precision and lack of emotions, like love and remorse, that they can kill us all and take over the world.

=http://img44.photobucket.com/...
 
The Future of Pets
05.07.04 (12:45 pm)   [edit]
I love dogs. I love their cuteness, furriness, adorability, and ability to stay loyal.

I hate the smell of dog crap, dog breath, dog food, and wet dog fur.

What can I do?

Get one of these!

=http://img44.photobucket.com/...

For only $2000 you can have all the good and none of the bad (except the furriness)...[b][url=http://www.sony.net/Products/...]Sony's Aibo [/url] [/b]is a technological breathrough in human technology. It runs, understands commands, fetches, and you never have to worry about the messy doggie poo.

Now all I need is an extra $2000....
 
Top 5 Candybars
05.06.04 (6:43 am)   [edit]
After much deliberation and debate, my well-known celebrity game show host, J.D. Roth and myself have come up with some listings of our favorite candybars. Please write back with your opinions and tastes, and let us know who you agree more with.

[b][u]Doctor Thalamo's Top 5[/u][/b]
5. Payday
4. Kit Kat
3. Nutrageous
2. Twix
1. Snickers

[i]It was a toss-up between Snickers and Twix for me. Whenever I'm eating a Twix I always say that this is my favorite candybar by far. But rarely when I'm not eating a Twix....and with Snickers, I just usually assume it's the best candybar -packed with everything you could possibly want at the perfect proportion. And it never dissapoints while I'm devouring one, so the prize goes to Snickers.[/i]

[u][b]J.D. Roth's Top 5[/b][/u]
5. 100 Grand
4. Twix
3. Caramello
2. Kit Kat
1. Miniature Krackle

[i]I have to go with Miniature Krackle on this one because it's all in the anticipation and celebration of the miniature mix of candybars. When someone brings in that bag of Miniature Krackle, Mr. Goodbar, and Hersheys, it's time to get me a Krackle. Picking out a few mini Krackles is much more gratifying and enjoyable than a full-blown Krackle bar.[/i]


If you like the way J.D. Roth thinks, visit his [url=http://jdroth.tblog.com/][b]blog[/b][/url] ...
I'm sure you won't be disappointed.
 
Dr. Alice Cooper
05.05.04 (7:21 am)   [edit]
PHOENIX, Arizona (AP) -- School's in for Alice Cooper.

The rock star, whose hits include "School's Out," is being awarded an honorary doctorate by a Christian liberal arts college. The 56-year-old will receive the honorary degree at Grand Canyon University's commencement ceremony Saturday.

Cooper, whose classic albums include "Killer," and "Welcome to My Nightmare," has been a financial supporter of the school, university officials said.

He was known for shocking audiences with gruesome concert performances featuring simulated hangings and infant dolls gushing blood. More recently, he's been knon in the Phoenix area as a family man who sometimes coaches Little League.

"Alice Cooper is a guy who made it big in a very tough business and has made his faith a priority," said Michael K. Clifford, vice chairman for the university, in a written statement. "He can become a real mentor for our students, sharing his knowledge, valuable contacts and real-life experiences in the performing arts."

=http://img44.photobucket.com/...
 
Japan Cool, USA Not Cool
05.05.04 (7:09 am)   [edit]
=http://img44.photobucket.com/...
Japanese Comedian Zenjiro, one half of the Sushi Brothers, will be performing alongside NEC's new robot, Papero.

Papero, plays the English teacher and Zenjiro a student in a sketch that pokes fun at English-language teaching in Japan.

Papero is a prototype "personal robot" designed to communicate with humans and is the first robot with Japanese-English translation capability.



Why haven't I moved to Tokyo yet?
Obviously there style of humor is for more evolved than ours...the last robot we ever had on a comedy was during Lost In Space.

=http://img44.photobucket.com/...